Finding it hard
What to do if you find it hard?
Lots of people find it hard when they start to get support or even to think about it. Here are our tips on what can make it easier.
- Say if you want more time to think about things.
- Say something like: I understand you have your deadlines, or are feeling anxious about me, but I would prefer to slow down.
- Get a friend or someone else who doesn’t get in a flap to be there.
- Ask about getting advice from one of the independent SDS advice services or another group you trust.
- Be willing to look at ways to reassure people if they are worried about you. For example, there might be a short-term arrangement that will help get you the space to think about a longer-term solution.
- Remember that you can always try something and see how it works, or change your mind later. Most things can be un-arranged.
- Get a friend or someone else you trust to be with you for a meeting with the social worker or other people you don’t know if this helps.
- Suggest having the conversation in a place that is comfortable and where you feel relaxed and in control.
- Take your time.
- Try to focus on the good things in your life and what you are good at as well as on the aspects that are getting more difficult.
- Some people find it helps to have photographs with them of themselves doing activities they enjoy and being with people who matter to them.
- It’s OK to say you want a break, or to stop for the day, when you are at an assessment or planning meeting.
- Try to get in touch with voluntary groups led by people who are in your situation. They will have examples of people having a good life which many people find encouraging.
- Try to get the other people to be specific about what they are worried about. Ask if they can give an example of what made them worried.
- If there is a misunderstanding about something, then you can sort it out.
- If there is something they have thought of but you haven’t, that can be helpful. You can then think of ways to make that risk smaller, or come up with a plan where you are coping OK.
- There might be something you can do which is a balance between them worrying and you getting on with your life. One example is Bill and his personal alarm in the stories. click to go to Bill’s story
- The social worker or the independent advice service may be able to give examples of what other people have done and how they are managing OK.