Help for me


In Community centre

  • I’m finding it harder to manage at home these days and I’d like to find some help for me.
  • Life is changing for me.
  • I’d like some help to keep up with friends and things I enjoy doing.
  • It feels like a crisis. Where do I start?
  • I’m going into hospital for a while. How will I manage when I come home?
  • Can I get help to stay on at work now that my condition is deteriorating?

Many people find that it gets harder to manage.

  • Sometimes it happens gradually. For other people it happens when there is a change in their circumstances, such as when they have been unwell or after bereavement.
  • There are some aspects of day-to-day living that can become more of a struggle, like shopping and cooking, or doing cleaning where we have to reach or lift things, or spending time with people.
  • Sometimes it’s because we find it harder to concentrate and remember what needs done as much as actually doing it.
  • If there are 1 or 2 things that are especially worrying or bothering you, try to get these sorted. It will be easier to think about what you need more generally once the current problem is no longer there to bother you.
  • If it is an emergency, focus on what you need to feel well and reassured over the next few days. This could be practical help from a friend.
  • If you need help from the social work department or from a care service quickly, each local Council has an out of hours contact number – look at the Local Information page for your area.
  • It is OK to do something for an immediate problem and then sort the rest out later.
  • Work out what things are causing problems. Make a list and try to be as specific as possible.
  • Think about who else is around you – friends and family. Talk to the people you trust and who care about you. Tell them about how you feel, if this is OK for you. They may have good ideas about possible solutions.
  • Talk to someone about what support could help you now and looking ahead. There are lots of people who have experience and know about  this sort of situation and the types of support that can make a difference for you.
  • Make a list of all the things that could help. There are suggestions on this website of ways to do this.
  • Try starting with help with 1 or 2 things if you have a long list. Often people find that reducing one problem makes it easier to deal with the others.
  • Keep out emergency phone numbers, so you’ll have them ready in case you ever need them. Include your friends and contacts like the plumber. They could also include the number for the health care services as well as for things like help at home. It’s whatever makes sense for you.

Over the Fence is based on the experience of other people who have been in a similar situation to you. We have their suggestions on what can make things better, or easier, for you. We’ve tracked down all the sources of additional information which helped them.

The Overview has the basic information and our tips to help you get started.

We also have more detailed notes on some aspects of looking for support for you. You can see these In Detail. These are things you might want to know more information about. You can read the ones that relate to your situation now or come back later.

There are Stories from other people in similar circumstances.

The Local Help map will take you to the main contacts for your local Council area.

You may also find it useful to get advice from MECOPP’s Rights, Responsibilities and Respect project. This project provides legal support to people affected by dementia to help them access their rights to Self-directed Support. Click here for more information.



  • You matter.
  • You are entitled to have the support you need to enable you to have a good life.
  • There are lots of people who care about what happens to you and want things to go well for you.



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